Every Flavour Beans
by xPhineasx
Summary: Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans! I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomitflavored one The story behind the quote. GellertAlbus


Title: Every Flavoured Beans

Rating: PG

Pairing or Character(s): Albus/Gellert

Disclaimer: Not mine. Nothing.

Warnings: -pets plot bunny-

Author's Note: So this here little plot bunny has been doing the cha-cha on my frontal lobe for a few weeks now. And I decided to let him loose.

Beta'd by the godly Stargem Kitty on Gaia.

((You all have no idea how tempted I was to make this end in Oral sex. NO IDEA.))

_"Ah Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans! I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I'm afraid I've rather lost my liking for them-but I think I'll be safe with a nice toffee, don't you? Alas! Ear wax!"-Albus Dumbledore_

—

Albus grinned. Gellert Grindelwald, for all of his amazing tact and charm and expansive knowledge of the world, had a rudimentary grasp of British culture at best. He could talk for hours on end about human nature, the balance of power and abuse, and philosophy but the concept of simple English confections had him puzzled. Alubs found it endearing.

"What _are_ these things?" Gellert asked, shaking the small cardboard container, where inside the little beans bounced around. The two were sitting on the back porch, the flaming sun lowering itself into the tree line. From inside the house came the soft sounds of Aberforth doing the dishes and the gentle whispering on his sister's insane soliloquies. The little beans rattled around in the box again.

"Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans." Albus replied.

"Every Flavour Beans?" Gellert repeated, and shook the little beans more. "What kind of plant do they grow on? Never heard of an Every Flavour Bean stalk."

Albus snorted in laughter. "Gellert, it's just candy. They aren't organic beans! They're made by people."

Gellert inspected the little box closely. His brow furrowed slightly and his eyes glazed over as he thought about it. It was the same expression he wore when he was pondering the pros and cons of a militant dictatorship in comparison to a benevolent totalitarian regime. "Are they really every flavour?" He asked.

"Well, obviously." Albus said, smiling widely. "They have normal things like watermelon and apple, but they also have stranger things, like soap and grass."

"Doesn't sound terribly safe." Gellert said, frowning more at the box. "Why risk eating something like that?"

"Sometimes you have to take risks, Gellert. Not everything is a rock hard certainty." Albus said, and Gellert seemed to consider this.

"You make a good point Albus. No matter how well we ready ourselves, there will always be risk involved in any undertaking." He said in his thick accent, still staring at the box. "Fine. I'll eat some. But only if you eat some as well."

Albus leaned over, taking the box out of Gellert's hands. "Fine. I shall take the first risk then." He said in a mock-parent voice and opened the box. He held up one of the small beans. It was an off white color, with little specks of green and orange here and there.

Gellert wrinkled his nose. "Albus, that thing looks terrible."

"Nonsense." Albus said confidently. "It's obviously just a simple coconut flavoured bean. Nothing dangerous."

He popped the bean in his mouth and chewed it between his teeth. He quickly doubled over and the god forsaken taste hit his tongue and spit it onto the ground. In an effort not to get sick on himself, he took a few deep breaths, still spitting.

"By Merlin Albus!" Gellert said, grabbing his shoulder. "Are you alright? You said it was coconut!"

"I was wrong!" Albus choked. "Vomit."

"Albus." Gellert said. You could tell by his voice he had something planned. It was the way he spoke Albus' name; the slight inflection of the consonants which gave it away. "Look at me."

Albus looked over sickly at the other boy. With a smirk, Gellert grabbed the neck of Albus's shirt and pulled him into a slick kiss. A few dizzy seconds later, Albus was gasping for breath. The rotten taste of sick still lingered in his mouth, but was now matched with the peculiar addition of a taste that could only be called Gellert.

"You're right," Gellert said, sticking his tongue out. "That does taste awful."


End file.
